nyc listings > manhattan > parenting > relocation > no fee

2yr old / male / needs potty training / frequent tantrums / does not like to get changed / does not like to eat anything / only drinks milk / does not listen / must have cars and trains at all times / likes sirens and loud noises which he imitates over and over and over again / must ride bus or taxi cab at least once a day / obsessed with swings and other children’s tricycles / whines / average diaper change takes 45 – 50 minutes / wants PJs during the day and street clothes at night / uses the interjection “No!” very often / will scream because Tonka dump truck does not fit into Thomas the Tank Train shed / will go nuts if you pass a Mister Softee truck without purchasing ice cream even if already eating one / did I mention that he uses the expression “No!” frequently? / WARNING: will use pouts, smiles, gleeful laughs and hugs to manipulate and elicit pity and love / etc. etc. etc.

Open-ended loan. I am willing to provide transportation to new location (U.S. and Canada only – International rates and customs will be the sole responsibility of recipient). Return transportation is available when he is potty trained and starts to behave himself. No need for updates as long as long-term parental goals are met.

First come first serve so hurry up! Don’t let this unique opportunity get away!