Mastering the one handed diaper change…

Most dads today find themselves on diaper duty at some point during the day. If they work during the day this often means getting double shifts on weekends. I have not met a dad yet (mom’s are way ahead of us on this!) who doesn’t say they wish there was an easy way to have all the necessary diapers, wipes and creams in one easily accessible place.

Men are just not used to rummaging through thousands of items in a seemingly bottomless bag to find the one that is buried in its most hidden corner. Women, on the other hand, get plenty of practice with their handbags and purses starting when the play dress-up as little girls! Guys, at most, have to deal with gym bags or briefcases that are certainly not filled to the brim with absolutely everything needed in case there is an apocalypse while you are out of the house and you are the lone survivor.

I admit that I have “bag rummaging” envy vis-à-vis my wife and I admire the deftness with which, much like magicians and their top hats, she is able to quickly find and extract an infinite number of objects that quite frankly I had no idea could fit in what seems like a fairly normal sized bag.

To add insult to injury, see if this sounds familiar: My wife is “multitasking” (word that is used to inform men of our apparent short comings) working on the computer, pulling dangerous object from my sons mouth, prepping his food, talking on the phone etc. and so she turns to me and tells me to go get something from her handbag. I start to sweat. I walk up to the purse and kneel in front of it. Roll up my sleeve and gently lower my shaking hand inside looking for said object (imagine a grown-up version of the board game Operation).

A couple of hours later I gingerly pull my arm back out of the handbag in defeat and deliver the news only to have her give me that “look”, walk over to the bag, stick her hand in it and pull out the desired object all in one motion (and without looking)!

Now imagine you are off to your kid’s favorite playground and as you plop him or her into the second swing from the right (because that is the only swing they will not give you a really hard time getting into) that is exactly what you start to smell! You get to the nearest bench, you prop open the diaper bag and start looking for the tools of the trade. This kind of Search and Rescue operation becomes even more complicated for us when one arm is occupied in corralling your kid’s flailing legs and lifting them to get access to the “red zone” during a diaper change.

Of course, if you watch my wife (and all of the other mom’s at the playground), the diaper change consists of a few quick turns and swipes all very fluid and precise. Think of professional ice skaters making all those twirling jumps look easy: find and unfurl the changing pad with one hand as she flips my son on his back while pulling his pants to his ankles with the other hand. Hold him by the ankles with enough pressure to lift legs without hurting him or making him squirm. She reaches back into diaper bag and removes wipes with thumb and ring finger while squeezing just the right amount of diaper cream onto index and middle fingers. Wipe, spread cream and drop legs. Close diapers and pull up pants. Perfect 10s all around!

So back to my playground predicament: Right off the bat, I forget the changing pad in the diaper bag. I get the dirty diaper off and then remember you need wipes to do this right. I look for the wipes as my son starts flailing his legs and arching his back so that everything smears everywhere. Finally find the wipes and manage to pull five wipes all clumped together. Wipe and realize that those were the only five wipes I had left. Look around for help. Finding none I grasp about inside the diaper bag and grab the face ointment instead of the diaper cream because quite frankly all those tubes of paste and cream look and feel the same. Find the diapers. Wrestle my son into a clean one as sweat pours from my forehead. And dress him again while he screams at the top of his lungs because I really needed everyone staring at me, too.

Granted I may have exaggerated my ineptness (sort of), but you get my point. Why not have everything you need for a diaper change assembled in one easily accessible and compact container? This way I can grab it out of the bag, lay it out next to me on the park bench and get going!

Yup, there’s a bag for that! Now before you snicker like a little boy (which is exactly what I did) at the company’s name, know that this product is a dad’s best friend during in-field diaper change ops! Think Rambo meets Look Who’s Talking.

My Royal Heinie makes what I consider to be the best on-the-go diaper/wipe dispenser out there. And to help maintain my machismo the mothers who invented this product were kind enough to call it “the wallet”. Not only; but they also have it in a very “manly” commando color (aka cammo green).

This will avoid any “girlie man” Governator-style comments from friends, family and those seemingly cute old couples who sit on park benches and feel the need to comment, without social filter, on everything within sight.

Before heading out just grab some wipes and slide them into the built in dispenser (which keeps them moist), grab some diaper and the diaper cream tube to stick into the zipped compartment (not the face ointment) and you are ready to go. Then when you need to change your kid just pull out the wallet and all three essentials for the diaper change are right there next to you. No more rummaging blindly through the diaper bag as panic sets in and your kid starts to wriggle loose from your grip!

(MH8CHJYH2WSM)

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2 thoughts on “Mastering the one handed diaper change…

  1. Jack says:

    When my kids were in diapers I had a backpack that I used. It was built specifically for diaper bag duty, but it didn't look like a girl's bag. I really liked it.

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