Those of you who have perused my past ramblings know that I am a big fan of talking about products – mainly about those that assuage my Peter Pan Syndrome and that I too often pretend are for my son. Well, today I am going to break with a tradition that goes way back to January 2010. Granted I probably should have written about this earlier, but luckily for me (and as the tagline at the top of this page warns people) this humble blog is about anything and everything – so I’m excused.
The buzz this year is that 2010 is the Year of the Daddy Blogger. Sure, why not. Let me remind everyone, though, that there is a before and after 2010, years in which we were and still will be dads. I suspect that the reason I find myself in the company of a motley crew composed of so many great guys is the common denominator of fatherhood and the love for our little troublemakers.
So back to trying to explain (with words) why I love my son. I say try because, most parents will agree, a list of traits or actions (cute, funny, smart, goofy, spontaneous, huggable, etc.) cannot fully answer that question, since the “Why” is more of a “je ne sais quoi” feeling that resides deep down, but is always present. The one that comes from within and reminds you everyday (consciously or subconsciously) that – despite the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions they inspire – this little munchkin rocks your world! That “within” comes from whatever you as a parent believe in (i.e. spirituality, religion, instinct, nature, nurture, Darwin, Buddha, the alignment of stars and planets etc.) and frankly it does not matter, you just know that it’s there and it’s good.
This is the same feeling that keeps you from pulling a Homer Simpson on your kid when they test the permeability of your only pair of “nice” shoes with milk and cereal or when they leave a Hansel and Gretel trail of graham cracker crumbs leading up to and into your bed or… well, you know exactly what I mean.
It is also true (even more so) that it is the same feeling that would make you leap buildings in a single bound if it meant keeping your kid safe from anything and anybody that could harm them. Our prior egotism is completely stifled by a brand new and sharply focused altruism aimed reserved exclusively for them that most of us did not know we had in us prior to becoming parents.
My son is still a wee little one so I have a very different set of parameters, I am sure, than dads with more and/or older kids and teenagers, but I doubt that the feeling ever changes? Probably, just the way you express it to your kids.
I am not writing anything ground breaking, nor do I expect all of you to agree with me. I just thought that maybe by putting it in writing (and in the true spirit of a blog) I would create a hard copy for my own reference. I know I am failing miserably in getting my point across, but let me try one last thing.
During random moments of my day, when I get a first glimpse of the New York skyline on my way home from a business trip, for example, or when I stare down the subway tracks to see if it’s coming or when I hear my son’s steady breathing when he is fast asleep, my mind drifts, for a split second, and that feeling sneaks up on me from within, leaving me flushed and with goose bumps. That is when I realize that “Why I love my son…” is not so much a question, but rather an affirmation.