Open Letter To: The Daddyhood Of Men

Dear Dads,

After almost two years of daddyhood I was lucky enough to stumble upon all of you and in the months that have followed I was happy to meet those of you who like me have done the same. I discover new things everyday as I read your writings and appreciate how willing you are to share your thoughts – whatever those might be. The diversity is not surprising and just makes it that much more fun.

I often look forward to taking a break from the daily routine and checking in to see what you are all saying and thinking. There are some of you who make me laugh and nod knowingly, those of you who bring up interesting issues, others offer unknown facts, some of you vent making me smile, many of you dispense advice by anecdote and others still bring different perspectives on some of the FAQs that are common among parents.

What I like about you guys is that you never take yourself so seriously as to sound pedantic. You leave that to others – giving our motley crew fodder for our articles.

No matter what you talk about I always find a great deal of respect amongst you when it comes to the challenges of daddyhood. I think that is unique to us. Don’t get me wrong we have our differences, but in stereotypical male terms these differences, even the more pointed ones, can often be tempered by sitting down at the bar with a beer in hand. Yes, the Neanderthal way that is often mistaken for actual male parenting style is exactly what allows us to still get along as dads and not turn every issue into a cat fight (how’s that for a stereotype?).

I don’t find myself ever trying to usurp my wife’s role as a parent (nor do I want to, quite frankly) and yet, I am constantly reminded by others that the very fact that some dads have taken to writing about their experiences as fathers is a perceived threat. Why? Are we implying that we are the only side of the parenting equation that pulls its weight? Really? I am not being naïve here. I know that there are interests involved online that go beyond thoughts and concepts and are anchored firmly in the economical and material realm. Is it that the slices of the pie are getting too thin? So why not say so instead of making it about who is the better parent?

Ladies don’t be upset, those of you who know me, know well how appreciative I am of your support and our conversation, but allow me this Hallmark moment for the dads. You guys make it fun and real – it’s the reason I write even when I don’t think it matters. That support is hard to come by in life and I thank you.


New York Dad

5 thoughts on “Open Letter To: The Daddyhood Of Men

  1. Kevin(TheDADvocate) says:

    Thank you for your insights and very pleasant article. I'll be including a link to it in the DADvocate news letter this week as I'm collecting thoughts on this seemingly hot topic of dads being less good.

  2. Richard Carmichael says:

    Nice post.

    While we all get involved in these communiites for our own reasons, it is a shame that these efforts would ever be confused as a threat by our female counterparts. Quite the opposite is true. In our new global village, we are all inextricably connected. What we do, who we touch, what we say has the power to influence and have a positive impact on the world we live in. Who could ever argue against that? It has never been more important to realize the value and the potential that lies within the wealth resource that is the communities we live, work and breathe in. Online and off.

    By joining us on this adventure, you and I and engaged fathers everywhere are building a community of like minded individuals, banding together to support, inform and empower each other to learn, grow and become the best Fathers, partners, husbands, and global citizens we can be. Everybody wins.

    With so much work to do, we can not stop and worry about the naysayers. Carry on with the mission gentlemen and keep up the good fight!

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