Stop staring at my…

What I hate about subways is that people do not know how to ride them. This means that there are very rude people that populate my morning commute. Never a good way to start the day.

So here are some guidelines I would like to pass on. They will probably just echo, but it’s worth a shot:

  1. If you must stand next to the door anywhere other than Tokyo then at least turn sideways to let people in and out.
  2. If a person is wearing earphones and does not hear you say “Excuse me” then tap them on the shoulder, smile and say it again. Do not pull back and use your body like a battering ram (unless the still don’t move).
  3. If you have a book bag or golf clubs or shotgun please place it on the floor in front of you instead of constantly hitting people with it as you turn to and fro.
  4. If the train is not completely full I do not need to smell your breath.
  5. If you sneeze please cover your mouth.
  6. If you must incessantly complain about how crowded the train is during rush hour after having forcibly wedged yourself into the nonexistent space and held the train doors for a half hour just so you could fit, then please take a taxi or just do us all a favor and shut up.
  7. If you must picnic during your commute please take a taxi. I don’t care if you’re starving, it’s disgusting.
  8. If you listen to music on anything, but a boom box (which by the way is not allowed), I do not want to hear it nor hear you sing it. The Mariachi band that gets on at Grand Central already takes care of that annoying part of my commute.
  9. Please do not use strawberry mango kiwi conditioner. It’s nauseating that early in the morning.
  10. Stop staring at my paper. You’re creeping me out.
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5 thoughts on “Stop staring at my…

  1. CaptiousNut says:

    The best is spotting *fried chicken* bones on the train!

    My wife and I had a longstanding policy not to ever take *lettered* trains – of course we had that privilege living near Borough Hall.

  2. Wagthedad says:

    Eating on the subway only grosses me out if i can smell it from across the aisle. But what about a cheese sandwich?
    Shooting up on the subway, now that's nasty. And that pool of blood on the floor I once stepped in. But that was in Vienna, where the subways are usually impeccable, give or take.

    • New York Dad says:

      That would depend on the cheese I suppose…

      The only thing I found consistently trying not to step on in Vienna is the poop left by the little yappy dogs those rude old ladies walk around with all day 😉

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